When You Smile
by M-Maltesers
Summary: Mokuba reflects on his relationship with his brother. A strange, little look at his world through his eyes.


_Author Notes:_ In short, this is Mokuba's view of his brother: romantic or otherwise. You decide.

Just in case you're not familiar with Yu-Gi-Oh! I'll just mention here in a little note, that Seto and Mokuba together is _incest_. Cute, adorable, cuddly incest, but incest none the less. So don't read this if you don't like or can't open up your mind to the idea. And don't flame me either because it would benefit neither you nor I.

**- MM - **

**When you Smile**

_When they say_ those sorts of things; when they whisper amongst themselves and glance our way, it makes me angry. I can't help but let it get under my skin, and I'll glare at them; my blood boiling.

I'll glance up at you, our fingers intertwined. You'll smile down at me gently, but I'll see the harsh light upon your eyes and your expression always changes to glare at them too. I feel your anger, barely hidden as it is. You'll grit your teeth a little, and I'll know it's my cue. I'll squeeze your hand and smile up at you again. "Let's go home nii-sama…"

But I know it hurts you. You're human too, and though they're just words, they've been repeated so many times that you're struggling to believe they're not true.

And sometimes at night, I'll wake. I'll find you lying stiffly, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. I'll know those words are still playing on again and again in your mind –

_When you frown_, with that distant look, I just want to wash all of the hurt away. I want you to forget everything except me; except us. I want to wrap you in my arms, or at least hold your hand in mine. My arms are too short to reach around you still, and my hands are a lot smaller than yours, but I'll grow. And I'll be as tall as you, nii-sama.

I'm not sure anymore how I confessed it to you. You might have been sitting in your office, staring towards the skyline and thinking of our past, or perhaps you were leaning against the kitchen counters, a mug of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. It might have been a Sunday or a Monday. I remember I was scared, thinking you might scold me or tease me, but I realised that no matter the question or the answer, nii-sama would never do that because you love me. I know you do, because you'll lift me up onto your lap and wrap your arms around me. And even when I'm annoyed with you, and I'm trudging home in the rain to prove my point to you, you'll play along with me and dry my hair with a towel. You'll pretend to buy the act, though I know you'll always give it away –

_When you smile_ at me, your blue eyes twinkling just like they always used to; my breath will catch in my throat and I'll see the wheels in your head turning. You'll smile that mischievous smile and pick me up. You'll carry me slowly, ignoring my giggles and protests and try to turn the handle on the door with one hand, but you always give up in the end and I'll wrap my hand around and turn it for you instead.

You'll thank me for it later, trying not to laugh as my fingers dance across your skin. And then you'll forget that the door is still wide open and that the curtains are too, because you'll run your fingers through my hair and give me that look. Sometimes it's a little dark, and I'll reach out to touch your face, but I'll know it's passed when your eyes meet mine. I love the way they sparkle; bright and blue and as beautiful as ever –

When you laugh at me like that, and I forget to remember all the bad memories. I remember the way you hold me, and the way your eyes will search me out in a room full of people. I'll remember your amusement when I used to run to your room in the middle of the night, and I'll remember the way you'd always give me the pillow with more feathers inside. 

At first, I didn't know what this feeling was – that strange feeling like a fluttering in my stomach whenever you would hug me. Sometimes I'm not sure anymore, how much I could take before my heart would break. Sometimes I think I love you too much; that by loving you, I'm slowly stepping further up a ladder, further away from the ground and into something that doesn't quite exist. But then I remember… I remember that I can never love you too much; that no matter what anyone else thinks or says, you'll always be my nii-sama. You'll always be there for me, to plaster my knees and turn my socks the right way out, to wrap your arms around me at night and to tuck me in at night, though we both know I'll always end up in your bed. I'll always love you nii-sama. And you'll always love me. I know it because –

When we kiss you'll pull me closer and run your fingers up and down my spine. Your lips will brush mine and you'll softly whisper my name. I'll hear the syllables on your lips, and see the words form, and I'll feel that rush through my body… 

And then… I'll wake up. My eyes will stare at the ceiling; the black white paint as bleached as ever. The sun will shine as it always does, through the windowpanes, and I'll turn to my side to reach my arms out for you…

But you won't be there. Because you never are. I'll pull the covers closer, and wrap the blanket around me as I step out of the bed. We've never had sides, because it was your bed to begin with, but as I take a step closer to the window, I realise that in some ways you and I have always had sides anyway. You're always on the outside, and I on the inside. I've never stepped out of the boundaries you set, and perhaps I never will…

I'll walk back to the bed instead, and slip my toes back under the covers, taking with me the dark blue blankets. I'll slip underneath them and curl up, and I'll wait here for you to find me…

Sometimes it feels as though I'll be waiting endlessly… I'm not sure where the loneliness begins or ends and I lose myself in it. But it's okay, because I know you won't make me wait too long. Please… please don't make me wait nii-sama…

**- MM - **

Please leave a review! This is supposed to be bittersweet by the way; I just thought I would mention that. I'll leave it to you to decide whether Mokuba's view is entirely accurate or whether he's seeing the world in shades of pink – and yes, I did resort to first person again! Because when I started typing, it was just what came out…

**- MM - **


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